Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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