yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
