Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
