i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize