I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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