just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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