took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You ruined the universe
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
