I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
