I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize