It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
