I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
only if we run a train.
done.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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