I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
