Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
