R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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