I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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