all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
