when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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