I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
