I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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