My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
