Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Sober January is a disaster.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How naked do you want me to be?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
