somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
