I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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