Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
