do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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