I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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