we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
