took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
