the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
NoShamevember. You game?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
