we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize