so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
