No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
