We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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