I'm eating all of the evidence.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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