what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize