Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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