yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Acid is not a monday night drug
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
