Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
