we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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