If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
