im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
