He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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