Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize