that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
