they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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