No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
