i don't like sucking hair
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Randomize
