It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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