i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
