You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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