I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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