spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
