3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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