I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
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my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
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she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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