The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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